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We asked our reader panel: How did you finance your adoption? Share any cost-cutting or creative financing strategies with other readers.

For many parents-to-be, one of the biggest hurdles on the road to adoption is finding the funds necessary to pay the various fees and expenses that come up throughout the paperwork and after the match. While the adoption tax credit and employer benefits can help after the fact, many readers came up with creative ways to raise the money before they adopted. Here, we’ve compiled their best ideas for affording adoption.

Tapping Assets, Taking Loans

A kind banker organized a total re-finance of our house at a lower interest rate. For our second adoption, we had the chance to save and prepare (having a lower mortgage payment helped), and our banker wrote up a short-term note for a revolving line of credit “just in case.” If you go to a “hometown bank” (not part of a big national chain where employees are usually not given much leeway) they will usually bend over backwards to help, especially when you tell them why you need the loan. People want to be nice and helpful – especially when it comes to something as wonderful as an adoption!
Jean and Steve, Minnesota

First we applied for an adoption grant. Then we took out a small loan from our 401K and set payments to reimburse ourselves at a 5% rate. Next, my daughter and I took coupon clipping to a new level. I started working for mystery shopping companies, and changed my insurance coverage to increase the deductible. I called my cell phone, Internet, and long distance providers and negotiated better rates. At Christmas, we spent half the normal amount. My mother-in-law paid for travel expenses as a gift to her future grandson. Our daughter even babysat for extra money!
The Runnels Family

We found our credit card’s interest rate much lower than any adoption loan interest rates. My husband’s company reimburses $5,000 of adoption expenses. Adopting two at a time helps with the cost as well. We are in debt, but we’d rather be broke and a happy family than rich and lonely!
Warren and Stephanie

I participated in my company’s stock option plan for years. It was a nice way to save and think about what I was working towards.
Eileen

My husband and I are currently funding our adoption with an equity line of credit on our home. We chose the line of credit because it allows the flexibility of early payoff or overpaying, a fluctuating credit line for purchases or payments to agencies as needed, instead of an equity loan which would require us to take a lump sum and pay interest on the whole amount.
Wendy and Jeff, Pennsylvania

We drained our CDs (Certificates of Deposit). One had nearly $15,000, which enabled us to complete the adoption.
Gail and Marty

My husband learned that his position was being outsourced to China and that he had just trained his replacement. So rather than take another position in the company, he found a job with another company and took the parting gifts to fund our adoption.
Rebecca, Pennsylvania

I worked an extra job for over six months. For my second adoption, I charged everything I could on a credit card. When I got home I worked like crazy to pay the bill before the interest kicked in. I called my second child my “Visa baby.”
Kathy, California

Tightening Their Belts

We budgeted our household based upon my regular salary, and the hours I worked beyond that (both from overtime and moonlighting as a teacher) were put into savings. I worked like crazy from the time we filled out our adoption application until we received our referral.
Kathleen, Colorado

We went without vacation, new clothes, meals out, or gifts, and kept the heat low. We picked up any overtime we could, and I got a second job on weekends. We furnished our nursery almost entirely with second-hand treasures and hand-me-downs.
Joanne

We chose to stay in annexes rather than in the main buildings of hotels. I took a suitcase full of food, like cup of noodles, soups, crackers, peanut butter, popcorn, oatmeal, plastic utensils, cups, napkins, vinyl tablecloths, individual coffee packets, creamer and sugar. We ate out for lunch, and had sandwiches and soup for dinner. We never felt deprived; in fact, we wished we’d been more frugal on previous trips.
Sandra, Okinawa, Japan

My husband and I are savers by nature, and had been working for years before we decided to adopt. We financed all three of our adoptions with our savings. Despite the fact that I no longer work, the children’s college funds are well stocked and we have a nice nest egg for retirement. It pays to save!
Debbie, Massachusetts

Moonlighting and Fundraising

We found a great storefront on eBay that sold wholesale jewelry pieces for about $2 apiece, and we sold them for $10 each.
Nicole, Oregon

I earned $750 selling flower bulbs and started an online business, The Adoption Storyteller, that hosts adoptive families’ Web sites and travel journals. I also made $400 at my garage sale.
Diane

We sold seedlings, teddy bears, bumper stickers and decals, clothes to consignment shops, and items at craft fairs. We had garage sales, a raffle, an art auction, a bake sale, jewelry making parties, framing parties, and a fundraiser dinner/dance. We sent out funding request letters to local businesses, posted items on eBay, and started a website for parents to market their goods and services.
Christine

I sold my grand piano to get the money for the adoption. I had a piano party with my friends the night before the truck came to take it away. One Kawai Grand, $10,000. One daughter, priceless. I’ve never missed that piano.
Mary Anne

I started my own eBay business. I buy new and used clothing, clean and patch it, and sell it on eBay. I buy new clothing in the off-season and sell it when it’s in season. I have done this for one year in my free time and have made $11,000 profit.
Lisa

We sold a home we had been renting out. Our profit covered our adoption expense and we got the $10,000 tax credit as well. Our daughter was definitely the right choice!
John and Michele, New Hampshire

We were only able to fund our adoption through the help of friends, family, and fundraisers. We secured a loan from MBNA, through the National Adoption Foundation, for a total of $25,000. We used the loan to pay for agency expenses and in-country fees. In addition, we held a candle fundraiser and raised $820. Our families and church helped greatly by giving us a total of $4,500.
Jessica, Kentucky

I sold collectables, jewelry, books, clothes, shoes, videos, CDs, handmade things, and garage sale finds for profit on eBay. People graciously donated items to sell. I bought a couple of fancy gowns on sale and sold them on eBay for full price!
Jeanne

I began making “Fly Away Home” ladybug dresses. I quickly expanded to toddler and children’s sizes, and added dresses in Asian-inspired fabrics. I have been able to cover half of our adoption expenses to date through the sales of my dresses.
Jennifer

Getting Help from Friends and Loved Ones

I made a brochure explaining who we were and why we wanted to adopt a boy from Russia. I put it in every hand I could find – I even sent one in when I paid my bills! One day a man from New York called to ask how much we needed. I told him we still needed $20,000, and he said, “It’s yours.” He had adopted from Russia six years earlier and had intended to adopt more children, but decided that his new son needed undivided attention. His way of bringing home more children was to provide the funds for another family.
Shari

My mother financed the adoption of my daughter. The only string attached to the money was that I would agree to stay at home with my child for at least two years, which my mother also financed. It was an amazing gift.
Margaret, Virginia

My father-in-law offered whatever we needed as an advance on our “inheritance.” They said they did not want such an important decision to be made based on money. They would deduct the money from our portion of their estate, if they ended up having one!
Lisa

My husband and I ran a marathon and raised support that way. We trained together for months and sent out letters and sponsorship cards. We were blown away when our sponsorship added up to almost $27,000!
Michelle

We tried to sell “shares of stock,” and told family members they would get dividends out of our daughter’s allowance money – in jest, of course.
Greg

Chose an Inexpensive Route

We adopted older children, for whom adoption fees were less than average.
Dellory

We used an in-country agency and were able to complete each adoption (including all travel) for under $10,000 each. This is under the allowable IRS adoption tax credit limit, so we were able to get all of our money credited towards our taxes – essentially getting our last two adoptions for free! The communication between the foreign agency and us was greatly improved, because there was no American agency as a go-between.
Wendy, Ohio

For more cost-cutting strategies, see AF’s Help with Adoption Expenses Web page.

Thank you so much, Ray and Katrina, for sharing with us. Zander is an absolute angel!

~~ WE ARE FOREVER GRATEFUL TO BIRTHMOTHER, ADOPTIVE PARENTS-LAURIE AND JASON AND DIVINE INTERVENTION FOR ANOTHER EVERLASTING DREAM COME TRUE ~~

Laurie and Jason are home safe and sound with their new dream come true. Josiah Caleb was born on 1-29-2010.

Laurie and Jason contracted with Everlasting Adoptions in September of 2007, but in January of 2008, Laurie became pregnant! They had their baby in September of 2008, but still felt a strong desire to build their family through the miracle of adoption. So…

We were able to put their contract to adopt with us on hold until March of 2009 to give them some adjustment time 🙂

3 months later, in July of 2009, Laurie and Jason were selected by a birthmother AND Josiah was born on January 29, 2010.

Many thanks go out to all of the legal professionals who worked with us to build Laurie and Jason's family through the miracle of adoption!

CONGRATULATIONS AND BLESSINGS ALWAYS!

** The purpose of life. . . . is a life of purpose **

Dear Everlasting Adoptions,

We cannot thank Carol and her staff enough for all they did to bring our baby boy to us. It is because of Carol and her dedication to helping people find their everlasting families that brought our son home. We started our adoption process in August 2009 and only five months later we were driving to pick him up.

Talking to Carol on the phone was very comforting. Every time a referral came our way and didn’t work out it was heartbreaking and I would doubt our decision of adopting domestically. That is when Carol would say when the right child comes, we will know it and that is exactly what happened. She always knew what to say to make me feel better.

Every time I called Carol she would always answer the phone, night or day, weekday or weekend. The most amazing part of our story was that our son was born in the state we live in and the social worker at the hospital contacted Carol in California and told her that she was the only agency that answered the phone on that Saturday. It was for that reason that our son is now home with us.

When the birthmother signed the papers, Carol was one of the first people I called because I knew she would be as excited as we were to hear the news. I wish I lived closer so I could hug her and thank her for all she did for us.

If I could convince my husband to adopt a third child, I would not think twice about using Everlasting again.

Carol truly is our guardian angel!

Iain, Christine, Christopher, and baby Nicholas

The First Conversation with a Potential Birthparent
by Nelson Handel

When my wife and I faced our first conversation with an expectant woman considering an adoption plan, we were gripped with bone-numbing fear, which, frankly, confused us.

We were both high-functioning, professional types; it was a phone call. We should be able to handle it smoothly. We’d done our best to prepare, as we would for a business meeting. We had “cheat sheets” from our lawyer, tips from the Internet, a list of concerns and questions. We would be, we hoped, ordered and on-point.

Instead, we stumbled through the call. In the young woman’s voice, we could plainly hear the same uncertainty and confusion. We did little that showed our true selves. We never heard from her again.

The personal turned public
Adoption calls upon you to do many things for which you are ill-prepared, like hiring someone to find you a child, or evaluating a potential birthparent’s commitment. The common (biological) experience of building a family is a private process, conducted intimately between spouses or partners. In adoption, potential parents are routinely called upon not only to address intimate questions, but to do so in the presence of lawyers and social workers who are complete strangers.

Prospective birthparents find themselves in the same boat. By choosing adoption, they too must publicly confront difficult questions, like “How do I choose the parents of my child?” or “How do I handle parting from my baby?”

Successful open adoptions occur when adoptive parents and birthparents form a strong, pre-placement connection. Despite what may be vast differences in their backgrounds or experience, something clicks and they discover a sense of fit, of rightness together. Yet within the public glare of the adoption process, the real can easily feel fake, and both parties can find themselves in similar zones of discomfort. Precisely at that moment, they are called upon to meet or talk for the first time. How do you find connection within a process that seems to disconnect you from yourself?

The key lies in returning to authentic human communication. Faced with your first conversation with a potential birthparent, what is most important is not some list of questions or negotiating points. What’s important is to put the public process of adoption aside and find a way to meet genuinely as people. This is not a job interview; it’s more like a date. Your goal is to determine whether you have rapport.

Human connections
When you meet a potential birthparent, realize that you are encountering someone with a HUGE problem to manage. Treat her as you would any friend with such news. Let your first thoughts be not of your needs and concerns, but of hers. There will be plenty of time later to discuss the “nuts and bolts” of things, like medical history, desire for post-placement relationship, etc. Don’t get ahead of yourself. This is about human connection. Focus on what she needs most, and address yourself to those needs. Isn’t that the kind of parent you would want, if you could choose?

Ask about the pregnancy: how’s it going? Ask her if she likes her doctor, how she’s getting to her appointments, what foods she is craving.

Ask about the people in her life. Does she have friends or family she can talk to about what’s going on? Your empathy might be just the invitation she needs to unload her thoughts and feelings. The more comfortable and positive you are about adoption, the more you normalize the conversation.

Invite her questions. It’s awkward to ask strangers about personal things, especially for younger people. Send a message that you welcome her interest. Answer her questions simply and honestly. Be as open and vulnerable as you would like her to be.

Let the conversation flow without an agenda. In a first meeting, it is less important what you talk about than that you talk, and, most importantly, listen. Remember that, although your biggest fear is that she won’t like you, her biggest fear is that you won’t like her.

Nothing can fully prepare you for the strangeness of this first meeting. But every day, people negotiate the same waters of a first contact. And every day, through the power of love and authenticity, people find a way past the awkwardness and come together for the sake of a child. You can too.

Nelson Handel is a father by adoption, a journalist, and the author of the book, Reaching Out: The Guide to Writing a Terrific Dear Birthmother Letter.

We are all adoptive Moms who work here, 24/7, and we honestly understand the difficult situation you are facing. We can help you decide on which option is best for you. We will never try to convince you either way.

We still talk to our own children’s birthparents and treat them with much respect and dignity. We realize they gave us the miracle of life!! ~~~~ There is no greater gift than that. ~~~~

IF you decide on an adoption plan, WE LET YOU SELECT THE PARENTS THAT YOU FEEL ARE RIGHT FOR YOUR BABY. We have many waiting families for you to chose from, and we can help you with your selection IF you would like us to help you.

PLEASE CONSIDER CONTACTING US TODAY by the method you are most comfortable with:

You can fill out an information form on line
Email us at carol@everlastingadoptions.com

Text Message Carol at 630-364-8361
CHAT ONLINE with us right NOW
or call toll free at 1-630-364-8361.

We guide you every step of the way, and we are so EASY to work with.

Get the help you need! Don’t wait. We are right here waiting to help you, 24/7!

THANK YOU ! 🙂

We can answer your questions right now! Why not click on GREEN HELP BUTTON on the left, upper side of this page and get your answer now? Why wait??? We want to help you build your family through the miracle of adoption now!

Birthparents, we realize this must be a difficult time for you. We are SO EASY TO TALK TO. We are all adoptive moms ourselves. We talk to our own children’s birthparents frequently. We understand! We can help you NOW. Don’t wait; let us guide you through the adoption process every step of the way OR just talk about your options. WE WILL NEVER try to sway your decision either way.

CLICK THE LINK AT THE TOP TO CHAT WITH ME NOW 🙂 I’m RIGHT HERE WAITING FOR YOU.

A very thoughtful person was nice enough to send this email to Everlasting Adoptions. We thought we would SHARE WITH YOU 🙂

Please read the email and visit this website.

I’ve started a Web site to share tips on how people can easily write to their representatives and senators to save the adoption tax credit. It also provides links to updates on the bills – I’ve started a Web site to share tips on how people can easily write to their representatives and senators to save the adoption tax credit. It also provides links to updates on the bills.

Even if parents don’t file for that designation for the baby before the baby is born – the baby is automatically covered under Tricare (military health insurance) as soon as it is born. The military member has 60 days to put the child into the DEERS system – just as it does with a mother that has given birth. However, it is important to do it as soon as possible – especially to avoid confusion while awaiting adoption paperwork and finalization. Some bases are more aware of these rules than others and it may take a phone call, but bases are getting better as adoptions become more commonplace. The beauty is that it makes medical care immediate and seamless.

It’s a great thing because sometimes that child needs extras. In our case with Laura the military paid for her lab tests, etc. that she needed as a newborn in the hospital.

Hi Carol!!

Our dream has come true! We are with our son Josiah Caleb!! We are so excited to be here and to have him with us and it was truely truely an amazing weekend! Birthmom went into labor Friday the 29th and we flew here ASAP, but she had the baby before we arrived! We got to meet her family Friday night in the hospital. They are absolutely amazing! She kept him with her the whole weekend until Sunday, and Jason and I brought him back to hotel last night! He is so cute, and we are so in love! Although we are still waiting on ICPC to clear, we are being patient! It is not legal yet, but we feel good!

Please pray for this process to move quickly, and we hope to be going home this weekend! I will send pictures later when we have our own computer! I wish you were closer to here so we could meet. I think it is a 5 hour drive! I will keep u posted with things!

God Bless, Laurie