Webinar: Paid Family Leave Application Process for 
Bonding Claims

On behalf of the California Employment Development Department, we are pleased to invite you to an informational webinar about navigating the Paid Family Leave application process for filing a bonding claim.

Research has shown that the application process for Paid Family Leave is one of the biggest barriers to eligible individuals using their benefits. In order to increase awareness and usage, we hope to help you get more informed about the application process for bonding claims in case you get questions from clients, employees, patients, and/or community members.

This webinar will cover the application process for filing a claim electronically or by mail, the documentation that is needed, and where claimants can go for assistance and more information.

Join us Tuesday, June 20, 2017, from 10 a.m. to 10:30 a.m. PT

Click here to Register

Please note, we strongly encourage participants to call into the webinar for a clearer connection. 

Dial: 877-309-2074

CreatingAFamily.org put together an excellent, age appropriate list of books that will help introduce the concept of adoption and birth parents to younger children. These books are geared toward 3-8 year olds and can open the adoption dialogue between parents and children.

 

Don’t forget to visit our website from your mobile device to view waiting families, read our Blog articles, and find helpful resources.

You’ve been waiting to be matched with a birth mom for 6 months, 1 year, or maybe even longer. The wait is agonizing and seems like it will never end. Now you have to deal with yet another reminder of this; Mother’s Day. The card display at the local grocery store and commercials on TV with mothers snuggling their new babies simply rub salt in the wound. Yet another Mother’s Day will come and go and you still don’t have that baby you so desperately want. How do you navigate the conflicting emotions of this widely celebrated day?

 

Find Support

Use this opportunity to connect with other women in your situation. Don’t forget there are many women out there going through exactly what you are on this day. Find an online Facebook or support group and use it as chance to vent without feeling guilt.  You will find comfort knowing you are not alone in your feelings and there is no shame in how you feel. You may even learn what other women do to help themselves cope on particularly difficult days, such as Mother’s Day. Refer to our blog post to find an online support group.

Avoid Awkward Situations

Only you can gauge how personally upsetting it will be for you to be around others celebrating this day. Brunch with the family on Mother’s Day may be fine for some woman, where as it might trigger a lot of sad emotions for someone else. If you feel like avoiding a situation all together would be the right decision for you, honesty is the best policy. Explain to your loved ones how you are feeling and why you won’t be attending an event.  You may be surprised by how understanding people are to your circumstance. If you are faced with a less than sympathetic response, just remember you are doing what is best for you and anyone who truly cares about you will understand that.

Do Something Special for Yourself

You may feel like you have no reason to celebrate on Mother’s Day, but your journey to motherhood certainly deserves recognition. Use this day as a chance to treat yourself to something you normally wouldn’t. Get a mani/pedi, buy yourself something expensive, go out for a special dinner, or spend all day in bed binge watching your favorite TV show. Don’t ever feel like what you are going through doesn’t deserve celebrating. Strength, perseverance, and overwhelming love aren’t qualities only mothers possess; as you exhibit these traits every single day, while you wait for the baby that was meant for you. Take a moment to pat yourself on the back for this. YOU DESERVE IT!

While the staff at Everlasting Adoptions think of our adoptive families every day, we are especially thinking of our waiting adoptive mothers this weekend.

For all of our Everlasting California families interested in obtaining more information on the Paid Family Leave program. A webinar will be held on Thursday, May 11 at 1:00pm CDT. Join the California Employment Development Department for this informational webinar. California is one of only four states to offer paid family leave, but the program is being underutilized.

Click here to register.

National Infertility Awareness Week is April 23-29, 2017. According to the CDC, 1 in 8 couples battles infertility while trying to build a family. It is likely you or someone very close to you has struggled with infertility. The battle with infertility can invoke feelings of anger over why your body is unable to do something it was made to do, grief over losses of unborn biological children, and an internal struggle to accept that your path to parenthood may not look at all like you had imagined.

How to Know You’re Ready for Adoption

The decision to embrace adoption after battling infertility is often not an easy one. It may take many months or many years after trying to biologically conceive to realize adoption is the right path for you. Here are three things we recommend before pursuing adoption:

Accept Your Path to Parenthood

You will never “get over” your battle with infertility and the heartache of miscarriages, but there is a point when you will accept your path to parenthood or choice to remain childless. Comeunity parents proposed several useful definitions of what they think it means to resolve feelings of loss due to infertility.

“I don’t think that resolving any loss ever means getting to a point where the loss doesn’t exist or doesn’t matter any more. I think that resolving loss — including infertility — means putting it in its proper place and being able to move on in life without being held back from going forward by that loss.”Cat V.

You may not be able to share stories of pregnancy or labor and delivery with your friends and family, but that doesn’t mean you can’t experience the amazing parent-child bond you have always dreamt of. The most important reason to know if you are ready to adopt is if your desire to become a parent outweighs anything else. The path to getting there may be different than you had imagined, but the end result will be the same.

You and Your Partner Share the Desire to Adopt

There may be situations when one partner is ready to adopt, while the other remains reluctant. Often times, the other partner simply needs more time to resolve feelings of grief and loss. Counseling and support groups may help the reluctant party talk through their feelings and come to terms with where they are in the grief process.  Adoptive Families shares some helpful steps to take when dealing with a reluctant partner or family member. Open communication between both partners is crucial to avoid building feelings of resentment in the relationship.

You are Financially Able to Afford Adoption

There are significant costs to adopt that you must prepare yourself for. You need to determine if your family is financially ready to adopt. Take a look at our article on Financing Your Adoption for information on the cost of adoption and resources to help fund your adoption. If the cost of adoption will compromise your family’s future stability, you may want to consider waiting until you have more financial flexibility. Either way it is an important factor to consider and discuss with your loved ones before proceeding. 

As parents or expecting parents, we may have many concerns and worries about the upbringing of our children or future children. Where will they go to school? Will they grow up to be successful? Will they be kind and loving? As adoptive parents, we have these concerns plus others which are much more fundamental. Will my adopted child bond with me? More importantly, will I be able to bond with them? Additionally, adoptive parents who also have biological children may wonder, will I be able to love my adopted child in the same way I love my other children?

The first thing you need to know is that these are completely normal and natural feelings ANY parent experiences. Reassure yourself that you won’t be any less of a parent for having these fears. The second thing you may ask is, “How do I bond with my child?” At the most basic level, a child will form an attachment to their parent(s) if their needs are consistently met. Bonding with a child plays a crucial role in their development. The more sensitive you are to their needs, the more quickly and deeply you will bond. Children adopted as infants display no difference in their quality of attachment from nonadopted infants, according to Psychologist and author, Dr. David Brodzinsky.

Ways to strengthen the bond with your baby apply to all infants, adopted or not.

1. Be consistent in your response to their needs.
2. Talk to your baby and make eye contact with them.
3. Provide as much physical contact; snuggles, hugs, kisses, as you can.
4. Don’t neglect your own needs. Your baby will sense if you are stressed or burnt out.

If you are interested in reading further on the topic of attachment and bonding, here are a few great places to start.

The Attachment Parenting Book : A Commonsense Guide to Understanding and Nurturing Your Baby

The Attachment Connection: Parenting a Secure and Confident Child Using the Science of Attachment Theory

The Everything Parent’s Guide to Raising Your Adopted Child: A complete handbook to welcoming your adopted child into your heart and home

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Idaho	Minnesota	Nevada	Utah
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Tax time is quickly approaching. Join Adoptive Families as they host an Adoption Tax Credit Webinar on March 7, 2017. Becky Wilmoth, EA, will provide an overview of the credit—what expenses qualify, how guidelines differ for domestic, international, and foster adoption, how to claim it—and answer questions from attendees. Register today.

The adoption process can be overwhelming; both emotionally and mentally. You have worked tirelessly to check off all the items on your to-do list: finances in order, profile complete, home study in process or finished, and yet you feel like something is missing.  Don’t forget to nurture yourself during this journey.  Finding a safe space where you can be surrounded by others who understand what you are going through, may be just what you need.  Below are three resources for finding support during your adoption journey.

Online Communities

With our hectic lives, we don’t always have the time to attend a weekly support group meeting.  Joining an online community can be a perfect alternative. Online communities provide a place for like-minded individuals to share their thoughts, stories, advice, and support.  Those who have been through the process can share their expertise, making useful information available at your fingertips.  Adopting Hands is one of many online communities that offer an abundance of resources for anyone interested in adoption and foster care.  A simple Google search will help you find the community that is right for you. Even if you never post on one of these websites, read through the stories so you can find comfort in knowing you aren’t alone!

Support Centers and Local Churches

If you do have the ability to check out a local support center, it can provide an invaluable experience. Support centers and local churches often host fun get togethers like family picnics, galas, pancake breakfasts, bingo nights, etc. These are fun, no-pressure ways to meet other people who understand what you are going through and maybe even help foster some lifelong friendships. If you are looking for more structured support, consider attending adoption classes or meetings. This database of Support Groups near you is a great resource to find specific meetings and events in your area.

One-On-One Counseling

There is no shame in seeking out private counseling to help navigate all of the emotions you are feeling during this journey. If you tend to be a more private person, this may be the right option for you. Health insurance will often times cover a certain number of counseling sessions a year. Be sure to contact your insurance provider to get more information.  Psychology Today offers an extensive list of counselors by city and state.

Whatever route you take to find support during your adoption journey, don’t forget you are not alone and there are many people out there eager to help.