You’ve been waiting to be matched with a birth mom for 6 months, 1 year, or maybe even longer. The wait is agonizing and seems like it will never end. Now you have to deal with yet another reminder of this; Mother’s Day. The card display at the local grocery store and commercials on TV with mothers snuggling their new babies simply rub salt in the wound. Yet another Mother’s Day will come and go and you still don’t have that baby you so desperately want. How do you navigate the conflicting emotions of this widely celebrated day?
Use this opportunity to connect with other women in your situation. Don’t forget there are many women out there going through exactly what you are on this day. Find an online Facebook or support group and use it as chance to vent without feeling guilt. You will find comfort knowing you are not alone in your feelings and there is no shame in how you feel. You may even learn what other women do to help themselves cope on particularly difficult days, such as Mother’s Day. Refer to our blog post to find an online support group.
Avoid Awkward Situations
Only you can gauge how personally upsetting it will be for you to be around others celebrating this day. Brunch with the family on Mother’s Day may be fine for some woman, where as it might trigger a lot of sad emotions for someone else. If you feel like avoiding a situation all together would be the right decision for you, honesty is the best policy. Explain to your loved ones how you are feeling and why you won’t be attending an event. You may be surprised by how understanding people are to your circumstance. If you are faced with a less than sympathetic response, just remember you are doing what is best for you and anyone who truly cares about you will understand that.
Do Something Special for Yourself
You may feel like you have no reason to celebrate on Mother’s Day, but your journey to motherhood certainly deserves recognition. Use this day as a chance to treat yourself to something you normally wouldn’t. Get a mani/pedi, buy yourself something expensive, go out for a special dinner, or spend all day in bed binge watching your favorite TV show. Don’t ever feel like what you are going through doesn’t deserve celebrating. Strength, perseverance, and overwhelming love aren’t qualities only mothers possess; as you exhibit these traits every single day, while you wait for the baby that was meant for you. Take a moment to pat yourself on the back for this. YOU DESERVE IT!
While the staff at Everlasting Adoptions think of our adoptive families every day, we are especially thinking of our waiting adoptive mothers this weekend.