Barry & Nicole In Nevada

We met way back in 2006, when Nicole started going to the church where Barry worked (and still works!). Both of our lives were in flux at the time. Barry was going through a divorce and was a single dad to two very young boys, and Nicole was dealing with some hard family issues. We did a lot of church work together, both with music and youth programs, and our friendship grew. When Nicole’s first husband died unexpectedly in 2015, Barry was one of the few people Nicole could manage to be around, other than close family.

A few years later, we slowly began to date. Our friendship was incredibly important to both of us, and we didn’t want to lose that close bond if a romantic relationship didn’t work out for some reason. It wasn’t long after we started dating that we knew we would end up together, and we were married in 2018. Our marriage is very happy and very stable. We respect and love each other and are true partners. It’s very different than what we both experienced in our first marriages, and we don’t take that or each other for granted.

Nicole has always wanted to be a mother, but her first husband was not interested in raising children. While Nicole tried to distract herself by being the best aunt she could to her nieces and nephew and by working with children and youth through church, the desire for children of her own was still there. We were very excited when we found out that we were expecting a baby a few years after we married, but it wasn’t meant to be. However, that pregnancy loss put us on the path that led us toward adoption. We are sad that we will never get to know that baby but take comfort in the knowledge that God has a plan for our family.

Barry is a music teacher and a church musician. He has made a lasting impact on many of his students; some of whom have gone on to also teach music. The students at his current school say they can always count on him for dad jokes, and some of them have said that they didn’t know what a dad was supposed to be like until they met him. He creates a supportive, encouraging atmosphere for his students, and, really, with anyone he comes in contact with. Once we adopt, Barry plans to retire from teaching and stay at home.

Nicole has done many different jobs in her career, but the common thread through all of them has been writing. At her current job, she works in Human Resources operations. It’s not traditional HR work; she spends her time working with several teams to help them figure out how to do things better and communicate those changes to all of the company’s employees. It requires a lot of writing, people skills, and organization, which is where Nicole is happiest.

We adopted our dog, Beau, from a rescue in 2020. He is an important part of our family and brings us so much joy. Beau is a big boy with a very sweet personality. Every person he meets is his new best friend! Beau’s favorite things include trips to doggy daycare, long walks, new toys, naps, snacks, and snuggles on the couch.

We share a lot of common interests. Our faith and our families are very important to us, we love to cook and eat good food, we are both musicians, we love to travel, and we also love our down time. We enjoy each other’s company and laugh a lot! Some of our best times are spent doing day-to-day chores. As long as we’re together, we’re happy!

We live in a residential area in a large city in the desert. Our home is one story, with three bedrooms and two baths. We have a lot of natural light and a big open kitchen and living room. While we haven’t started preparing a nursery yet, we have a bedroom set aside and ready, and the nursery will be perfect for our new baby. Our yard is a great size and has a large, shaded patio and a grassy space to run around and play.

There are families of all ages and races in our neighborhood and several parks close by. While there are excellent public schools near us, we think that one of the many private schools or charter schools in town may be a better choice for our family.

We have some involvement in the local music community, and are aware of children’s choirs, orchestras, dance, and theater groups, if the baby we adopt is eventually interested in the arts. If their interests lie in another direction, there are many opportunities within our community to explore sports and outdoor recreation, or whatever our child desires.

We have a large extended family. While we don’t live close to them anymore, family visits are a priority. Nicole’s parents moved to the other side of the country after they retired, to be closer to her brother and his family. We try to spend at least one major holiday together every year. Barry’s brothers and sisters live in different parts of the country. Most of them are close enough that we can make quick weekend trips to see them, which is always fun.

Our families are very excited for us to welcome a baby, but Nicole’s mom is especially happy for us. When she found out we started the process to adopt, she said “Oh, this is wonderful news for me! And also for you.” She was 16 when Nicole was born, so she’s a young grandma, and she loves every minute of it. Being with her grandkids and planning special activities for them is one of her favorite things to do.

Barry has two adult sons from his first marriage, Noah and Elijah. When Noah was in high school, his girlfriend at the time, Sinthea, came to live with Barry because her family situation was not good. While we never legally adopted her, she is our daughter. Noah and Sinthea are in their early twenties and have moved out of our house. Elijah lives with us.

Almost as soon as we were married, Sinthea started asking about the possibility of babies, so she could come and babysit. Noah is already an excellent big brother, and Elijah looks forward to being a big brother, too. While there will be a significant age gap between Noah, Sinthea, and Elijah and their little brother or sister, they are happy and excited that our family will grow!

Our holiday celebrations usually center around family and food. We love a chance to make ridiculously fancy or time-consuming food together; things we never make on a regular basis, like prime rib or tamales or giant layer cakes. We’ll spend a lot of time at the table together, eating and playing board or card games. There will be a lot of laughter, and afterwards, we’ll crash on the couch and watch movies.

Barry is very outdoorsy and loves to camp and fish. His family spent a lot of time camping together when Barry was young, and Barry shared that love of the outdoors with Noah and Elijah. Barry’s boys love to go on fishing trips with their dad, even as adults. They try to go once a summer.

We are both active in the local church camping ministry. Nicole runs a summer camp for junior high youth, and Barry ran a senior high camp for many years. The senior high camp involves some strenuous and very hot hiking, so Barry decided he would rather work the junior high camp with Nicole this past summer. We love spending the week with campers, playing games, teaching Bible lessons, and doing crafts and all sorts of activities. It’s a lot of work to manage the camp and the counselors, but it’s worth it!

As we explored options to grow our family, adoption began to feel like the best choice for us. We have a lot of love to give and would love a chance to raise a child together!