Stephen and I decided to adopt because we always wanted to be parents, but, after 3.5 years of intense infertility treatment, felt that we were being called to a different route to parenthood. From start to finish, it took 24 months to adopt Jacob Aiden. The experience was hard at first because of the frustration of filling out what felt like reams of paperwork, feeling as if we needed everbody else’s approval to become parents, feeling as if it was never going to happen…but, now weeks away from finalization, I can appreciate that, while a lot of what you go through to adopt is extremely hard and maybe over the top, it is worth it to see your child.
One of the main reasons we chose Everlasting Adoptions versus other facilitators/agencies was our feeling that they had a deep respect for all the people involved in the adoption process. Some other places I spoke to seemed to be frustrated at having “another couple” wanting to adopt because they needed more birthmoms, and others seemed to have a lack of sympathy for the birthmothers. We did not experience this negativity from any of the staff at Everlasting, and felt as if they were truly trying to help birthmoms and adoptive parents find a happy ending without judging them in the process. Everlasting’s staff was always there to help us; I was amazed at how easy it was to reach Carol whenever I had a question (something we did not experience with our attorney, home study agency, and social workers!) Overall, we had a good experience with Everlasting, and would utilize them again for a domestic infant adoption.
There’s a few things I’ve learned through this process, one of which, is try to stay hopeful throughout the wait! Stephen and I tried to do some things we knew would be harder after a baby, like taking a weekend vacation, going out to a movie, and outdoor stuff, like hiking and tennis, to try and appreciate the time alone together, since you tend to focus on wanting the future to come faster! I would advise prospective parents to keep an open heart and mind; you never know what is meant to be. We were fortunate to have a wonderful birthmother who wanted us to be involved even before our son’s birth, and feel blessed to be able to share pics and updates with her now, something about which we were initially concerned.
Jacob is such a blessing in our lives and we’ve enjoyed every minute with him! Even those 2 am feedings! Sometimes the pain of not having a child makes you appreciate the one you finally have that much more.
Stephen, Lindsey, and Jacob
