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In the excitement of adopting a newborn, obtaining their medical history might not seem like a top priority. After all, you’re adopting a newborn – how much medical information could there be? More than you think – and mainly the medical histories of the birthparents.

Foreseeing Possible Conditions

Having some sort of medical record from the birthmother or birthfather (or both) will help tremendously in foreseeing possible physiological or developmental issues. Of course we hope there are none – but examining the medical histories of the biological parents can let us know of anything to look out for. Should anything be present in the birthparents’ history that suggests your child needs evaluation or testing, it’s best to do it sooner than later.

It Helps to Spot Symptoms

Once you know what types of conditions (if any) your child is at risk for, you can start educating yourself on what to look for. Allergies are a great example. They can often be genetic, so if your child gets sick after consumption of foods, you will know to take him/her to the doctor instead of waiting it out.

Extended Relative Info is Valuable

In most infant adoptions, the birthparents are young and may not have encountered certain medical conditions that could effect your child. For example, conditions like diabetes, MS, types of cancer, genetic disorders, mental illnesses or heart conditions. These types of ailments may have occurred in the extended family of birthparents, and thus, important knowledge for your child’s health. Obtaining this information is not always easy, but beneficial if available.

It Helps Your Kid’s Kids

We know it’s hard to believe, but one day your child is going to grow up and may want children of their own. Having knowledge of any markers for certain genetic disorders will help determine what could be passed along to their future children.

Now is the time to gather any medical history you can for your child. Waiting can make it more difficult to locate relatives that can help. Ask your adoption social worker to speak with the birthmother about her medical history. Chances are she will also want to contribute to the health of her child!

Adoption is a beautiful and amazing way to grow a family. Unfortunately, the process does have its fair share of misconceptions. If you are hoping to adopt a newborn – do your research. More importantly, kick these adoption myths to the curb!

Myth:

Adoption is outrageously expensive and out of reach for most families.

Reality:

Contrary to popular belief, a family does not need to be ‘rolling in the dough’ to adopt a baby. Adoption is often no more expensive than giving birth. Furthermore, affordable adoption services are out there – such as the ones provided to adoptive families here at Everlasting Adoptions.

Myth:

It takes years to complete a newborn adoption.

Reality:

A typical adoption takes between 1-2 years. At Everlasting Adoptions, many of our infant adoptions are completed in less time than that – some taking just months.

Myth:

A biological parent can reclaim their child any time after placement.

Reality:

This is a fear that we believe every adoptive parent has had at one point or another. Once an adoption is complete, the adoptive family is then recognized as the child’s family by law. A birthparent, under no circumstances, can reclaim the child after relinquishing parental rights. Your attorney, adoption facilitator and adoption caseworker will take all necessary precautions to ensure this fear be put to rest for good.

Myth:

Adoptive parents cannot love an adopted child as much as they would a biological child.

Reality:

Any adoptive parent who hears this would surely protest. Love and attachment is not guaranteed by biology. The intensity of bonding, depth of emotion and the development of unconditional love are the same regardless of how a child joined the family.

Myth:

All birthmothers/birthfathers are troubled teenagers.

Reality:

While most relinquishing mothers are in their early 20s, some are older and some are younger. Most birthmothers are over 18 years old, and choose adoption for a multitude of reasons – the biggest being love.

Myth:

Children who are adopted are more likely to have developmental issues.

Reality:

We believe this is a harsh accusation. In reality, research shows that adopted children are no more prone to psychological or emotional issues than their non-adopted counterparts. There is virtually no difference in psychological function between the two.

Your adoption journey means the world to us. Whether you are thinking about adoption or are already committed to the process, Everlasting Adoptions is here to support you through the entire way through. Call us or email us any time.

As the most commonly practiced form of adoption in the United States, it is no secret that open adoption has its benefits both for the birthmother and adoptive parents. At Everlasting Adoptions, we believe that open relationships between birth and adoptive parents are a beautiful way to carry out any adoption, and strive to keep both parties educated on its benefits.

Open Adoption Gives You Options

Whether you are 9 days pregnant or 9 months pregnant, we can help you create an adoption plan that is right for you. In an open adoption, the choices are completely yours. This includes:

• Choosing an adoptive family for your baby
• Choosing who you want with you in the delivery room
• Choosing the amount of contact you’d like with the adoptive family after placement

Your Child Knows His/Her Roots

In an open adoption, a child grows up knowing where he/she came from, his/her medical history, and that the decision to place him or her for adoption was one made out of love. An open adoption can provide answers to a child’s questions such as “who do I look like?” and “why was I adopted?” If an adopted child knows his/her birthmother, it will be much easier for them to develop an identity and make peace with the reason(s) for being adopted.

Open Adoption Helps Develop Trust and Understanding

Meeting you and getting to you better before the birth helps adoptive parents develop a trust and understanding with you. Being selected by a birthmother to parent her child is an honor and an incredible feeling that adoptive parents spend months – and sometimes years waiting for. Meeting the adoptive parents is also beneficial to the you, the birthmother, as you will have the chance of getting to know their personalities and lifestyle before placement. Additionally, having ongoing contact after placement increases the opportunity to build on trust and establish a deep and open relationship.

There are no “Goodbyes”

In an open adoption, your relationship with the adoptive family and your child doesn’t stop after placement. Instead, you have the extraordinary opportunity to maintain a long lasting relationship with them. Moving forward, it is this ongoing, open relationship that enables you to heal as you see that your child is loved and cared for.

Every birthmother and adoptive family is different and no situation is alike. That is why the adoption coordinators at Everlasting Adoptions listen carefully and work with you to create a plan that works for your needs. Whether you are considering open adoption or closed adoption, at no point in time will we ever persuade you to make a decision – we will only offer guidance and support and let you make the decision that you feel is best.

We’d like to welcome another precious angel into the world and congratulate Megan and Kenton. They are now the proud parents of Allyson Claire who was born on August 4, 2013. Megan and Kenton adore Allyson and tell us they are so grateful for her. Many thanks also go out to Allyson’s birthmother who made Megan and Kenton’s dream come true. Allyson came to her new parents in 12 months. Warmest wishes to all of you as you enter into this new journey of your lives.

Placing a baby for adoption is likely one of the hardest things a young mother can do. With that said, she’s looking for specific qualities in an adoptive family. While all birthmothers are different, there is some common ground when it comes to what they’d like to know about adoptive parents and their child’s future with them.

That Your Relationship is Solid:

You may be someone who believes your relationship is a private matter – something that is only discussed between you and your spouse. We respect that. At the same time, a birthmother placing her baby for adoption wants to see a strong relationship that will last a lifetime. Often times, their number one wish for their child is to grow up in a two-parent household. This doesn’t mean you have to share the life story of your marriage, but it does mean you should express your love and care for each other. Either in your adoptive family profile or meeting with the birthmother (or both!) be sure you and your spouse mention a few of the things you love about each other. Tell the story of how you met, or talk about the things you want to do as you grow old together. This shows the birthmother you’re in it for the long haul – not just with her baby, but with each other as a family.

How You Raise or Plan to Raise a Child:

Whether you already have children or you are planning for your first, birthmothers like having an idea of how their child will be raised. Will you travel? Will you introduce your children to many different hobbies, sports and activities? Do you believe in “groundings” or time outs? You don’t need to have an exact plan right now, but sharing some of your thoughts about parenting with the birthmother can be comforting for both you and her.

What Your Family is Like:

One thing many birthmothers look for in adoptive families is a tight knit extended family. If you spend a lot of time with your own parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts and uncles etc, explain this in your adoptive family profile. Does your family live nearby, or is the 12 hour drive to Grandma’s house a yearly adventure? Talk about your family traditions, what you do on holidays and why you love spending time with your loved ones. Including family photos is an even deeper way to show your dedication to family.

How Much Time You have to Devote to Family:

Birthmothers can get a sense of your daily schedule by knowing what type of job you have or what type of lifestyle you lead. No birthmother wants to look at a profile and feel like the family is too busy for their child. If you and your spouse both have full time jobs, explain what type of care the child will receive while you are working. Additionally, talk about the ways you will make time for family. Maybe you are dedicated to nightly family dinners, or perhaps you have “family night” once a week or devote weekends to spending time together.

You are Passionate About Parenting:

No matter what your reasonings are for adopting a baby, birthmothers want to feel your passion for becoming a parent. Tell them what things you look forward to about parenting, or of a hobby you have always dreamt of passing down to your child. It’s important for birthmothers to know that having a child goes beyond the desire of being a parent.

At the end of the day, honesty is the best policy when communicating with birthmothers. If you remain honest while considering the tips mentioned above, connecting with a birthmother will be easier than you thought. Should you have any questions, the staff at Everlasting Adoptions is always available to talk, guide or just listen.

You’ve been selected by a birthmother to meet in person. Wonderful! That means your adoptive family profile made a huge impression on her, and she is ready to consider you as the lifelong parents of her child. Being connected with a birthmother is a remarkable feeling. With that said, we understand all the nerves that accompany this initial meeting. As your adoption coordinators, Everlasting Adoptions wants all adoptive families to be fully prepared for every part of the adoption process – including meeting birthparents.

The following tips and “pointers” will be helpful while you prep for meeting your birthmother.

• Be yourself! We cannot stress this enough. You’ve already made a positive impression on the birthmother, otherwise you wouldn’t be at this meeting. Extend that positivity by showing the birthmother your true self. She understands no one is perfect, and being yourself is the best way to establish that pure connection you are both hoping for.
• Consider dressing casual. While this initial meeting is important in terms of establishing a connection with the birthmother, it is not a job interview. Look presentable, of course, but a casual attire will help set the tone for the meeting as being light and stress-free.
• Ask them what type of delivery plan they prefer. If you would like to be present during the birth, or be at the hospital when the baby is born, express this to the birthmother so she can consider it in her plan. (Every hospital has different levels of receptiveness to adoption. Your adoption social worker will make arrangements.)
• Be considerate of her feelings on the whole process. This is undoubtedly one of the most difficult things she will ever do, and she needs all the support she can get – including support from the adoptive parents!
• The birthmother is nervous, too. This might be the most important thing to remember before and during your meeting. She wants you to like her just as much as you want her to like you. If you’ve spent hours mulling over what to say, how to say it and when to say it, chances are so has the birthmother. It’s okay to let her know you’re nervous. In fact, it may even take the edge off to share that commonality!
• Bring photos. Birthmothers can only learn so much from your adoptive family profile. Now is your chance to really show her what you’re all about, and to give her a glimpse of what her child’s life might be like when welcomed into your family. Photos of family, friends and relatives are the most powerful, as it is the birthmother’s own way of “meeting” them.
• Consider discussing what level of openness you are looking for. If you’re meeting with the birthmother, you’ve already chosen to move forward with an open adoption. But every open adoption differs in its level of openness. The details don’t need to be worked out right then and there, but you may want to establish some common ground.
• Explain your reasons for choosing adoption. It is always important to birthmothers to understand the adoptive parents’ reason(s) for adopting a baby. This conversation may also be the perfect way to help everyone feel confident in the arrangement.

Nothing can fully prepare birthmothers and adoptive parents for the first meeting. But positive thoughts and a little preparation can go a long way! Plan what you want to say/ask beforehand, but also remember the conversation will flow on its own before you know it. Everlasting Adoptions is always here to offer guidance, support and encouragement throughout the entire adoption process.

Please welcome Maliyah Ivery; our newest, precious Everlasting miracle. She was born on July 13, 2013, and she has made Erric, Keisha and her new brother, E.J. the happiest family ever. All of us here at Everlasting want to express our thanks and appreciation to Maliyah’s birthmother, also. She made a courageous and selfless decision that has touched everyone’s life in a way that will be treasured forever! Look at EJ and Maliyah~~what an incredible and divine miracle!

The words “home study” can be intimidating to any family hoping to adopt. After all, it is a written report about your family and ability to raise a child. But an adoption home study doesn’t have to be a stressful experience. More often than not, adoption agencies are looking for ways to rule families in rather than rule them out. Be yourself, be honest about your lifestyle choices, and most importantly, express your passion for wanting to adopt.

Everlasting Adoptions understands the emotions tied to the adoption process. Before completing your adoption home study, consider these tips on what to expect.

Home Visits:

Sure, you want your home to be presentable for your adoption home study; but don’t dwell on the little things. Your caseworker isn’t there to point out crooked picture frames or specks of dust around the house. They are there to evaluate how suitable your home is for raising a child. Is it spacious enough for a child? Is it safe? It’s understandable that the home visit might be the most stressful part of the home study. But try not to worry too much. Since home studies are scheduled in advance, you will have plenty of time to present your home the way you want. Have fun with it, and be excited to show your caseworker that your home is a loving and safe environment.

Personal Questions:

What many adoptive parents don’t realize is that a home study can be quite personal. Be prepared to be presented with some deep questions you may have not been expecting. This goes beyond the obvious questions about your occupation, location and education. Prepare yourself for answering other types of questions regarding finances, your relationship with your spouse, how you plan to discipline your child, how you were disciplined and what your relationship is like with your family.

Separate Interviews:

It’s safe to say that most of the home study will be conducted with both spouses. However, a portion of the home study may be conducted separately. Some caseworkers like to interview couples one-on-one to see both perspectives on the decision to adopt and what each individual’s motivations are. They want assurance that both parents are 100% on board (which we know you are!).

Ask Your Own Questions:

Think of the adoption home study like a job interview. You are interviewing them just as much as they are interviewing you. Instead of solely focusing on what you will say in response to their questions, consider your own questions, as well. Adopting a newborn is an extensive process and you want to be informed as much as possible.

The home study will take three to four months to complete – give or take. Everyone gets anxious about their home study. But if you are properly prepared and have an idea of what to expect, it will be a smooth experience that may even be enjoyable! Never hesitate to contact us should you have any questions about the adoption home study or the adoption process. We look forward to making your adoption a joyous and powerful experience.

We are proud to welcome another new Everlasting arrival. Wyatt was born June 14, and he was 8lbs 10 oz, 20.5 long. He has dark hair and blue eyes, and according to Bo and Megan, he is growing really fast!! We also want to thank Wyatt’s birthmother for giving him the gift of life and being the courageous woman that she is. Bo and Megan adopted Wyatt in just 8 short months.

Thank you, Tracy and Brant for sending us an update on Brody! Tracy and Brant adopted Brody with Everlasting and he is growing up to be a handsome and bright young man. Tracy tells us Brody loves to dance and put on concerts for his parents, has a great imagination and loves to explore. He also has a little cousin who he loves to call his sister. Brody starts Pre-K in the fall and we couldn’t be happier to hear that he and his parents are doing well!