Michelle & Mark In Arkansas

Mark and I met on a dating app in 2017. We went on our first date and both knew something was different. Mark drove 2.5 hours each way every single weekend for nearly two years to come visit so my furbabies would not have to have their routine disrupted. He would even come for less than 24 hours if he had to work on Saturdays. We got engaged in 2018 and married in 2019. Shortly after that, we started our parenting journey. We opened our home as foster parents. Our goal was to adopt a sibling group and provide them continuity. Adoption was always our preferred way to start a family.

During our years as foster parents, we had the pleasure of parenting two amazing children. We got to love our foster son (David) for 18 months and our foster daughter (Charlie) for a short time. David was 20 months old when he came to us. We had every intention of adopting him and two of his older sisters, but it did not work out. We love and miss him. We will always consider him to be our son. Being his mom was the single greatest pleasure of my life so far. He was our whole world, and we would do anything for him.

While he was with us, David attended Ninja classes and swim lessons. During the warmer months, Michelle and David would swim at least once a day but usually two times every day. He was able to swim across the pool and back (almost entirely unassisted) at 3 years old. Because we swam so much, he was able to skip two levels of swim class to a more advanced class. On Fridays, Michelle and David would usually bake together, go to the park, play outside or go out and run around.

Mark is a highly decorated combat veteran. He was forced to leave the Army due to a knee injury he sustained fighting for his country. He now works in the automotive industry. When he is not working, he loves to spend time with his family and is a very hands on dad. He gets on the floor and plays with his children all of the time. He enjoys outdoor activities and working on his Bronco in his spare time.

Michelle owns her own business. Her primary job is a mental health therapist. She loves her job and would not want to do anything else in the world. Being a mom is the best job! Michelle is able to set her own hours and caters her schedule to her children and their activities. Fridays are "Mommy Day" since Michelle only works Monday through Thursday. She loves baking together, doing crafts and playing outside.

Our furbabies are our oldest children. We love them like family and treat them like family. We hardly ever leave them home alone. They go to Michelle's parents house during the day with the children. We have a 15 year old orange tabby cat named Isabella and our 7 year old black Lab, Ella.

We currently live in a small town that is a short drive from the city with all needed amenities and activities. We have a comfortable and spacious home on 16 acres in the countryside. We have 5 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms. Our children will all have their own rooms (this is extremely important to us). There are 4 wheeler trails at the back of our property and a forest with huge trees. (there is even a 6-trunked tree). Our yard is approximately 5 acres and fenced. We have a pool, sandbox, trampoline and will happily buy the kids anything they want for the backyard. The nursery is going to be painted navy blue and green if it's a boy and navy blue and pink if it is a girl. It will have a brand new crib, crib mattress sheets and bedding.

Our home environment is set up to foster independence in our children. Cups are in a place where they can be reached (when it is age appropriate). An example of this is one time when David has spilled something he said, “Uh oh! I spilled. I go get a washcloth”. He ran to his bathroom where there were a basket of washcloths under the sink within his reach. He used the stool in his bathroom to wet the wash cloth. He came and wiped up the spill. Then I came behind with the cleaner to make sure it was not sticky. He then took the washcloth and put it in the laundry basket. We encourage our children to learn skills and foster independence.

Our home is only 20 minutes from Michelle’s parents, her work and a short drive from one of the best children’s hospitals. The cultural hub of our state is also within a short drive. We will do school choice or private school so our kids have opportunities to excel. There are many parks near our home. There are also museums, theaters, parks and many activities within a reasonable driving distance in our community. All but one set of aunts and uncles on Michelle’s side live less than an hour away.

Our family is very close. Michelle's side of the family would (and has) dropped everything to help us. We spend a great deal of time with them. They are very supportive and very hands on with our children. We get together with her parents at least twice a month and see them most days.

During the day while we work, Michelle's parents provide childcare for us. They took our son to the park, the splash pad, and devoted 100% of their time and attention to him. Menaw (Michelle's mom) is a retired elementary school teacher who worked continuously with David to help him get caught up. He went from severely behind and qualifying for speech to testing out and exceeding expectations in six months due to their help working with him.

Michelle has cousins who were adopted, so adoption is just a part of our family story. We are a family with a very long history of military service (going back many generations) who went on to achieve high ranks (Colonel, Lieutenant Colonel) after serving their country in war (5).

We get together with Michelle’s extended family very regularly. All her aunts, uncles and cousins treat our children as if they are their own children/grandchildren. We enjoy getting together to eat, camp, travel, canoe/kayak, cook out, hike, swim and do just about anything as long as we are together. Family time and bonding is extremely important to us.

Some unique things about our family are that Michelle’s dad and siblings were born in Germany when her grandfather was stationed there. Her dad was stationed in Germany when he was in the military too. We have several unique traditions that stem from that. For holidays, we like to fondue. It is a social meal (chicken, steak, shrimp, onions, peppers and mushrooms put on a skewer and fried in hot oil).

Michelle has cousins who were adopted. It has always been something that was a part of our family. It was always something that Michelle has felt called to do. It felt wrong to bring more children into the world when we have the time, resources and energy to provide that love to children who are already here.

Michelle has a great deal of experience working with individuals who were placed for adoption or were in foster care. This is something that we as a family are extremely aware of. We cannot and do not want to ever replace our child’s birth family. There is room for a child to have their adoptive family and birth family in their lives. We strive to honor our child’s birth family, cultural background, ancestry and our child’s ethnic background as well. If our child is of a different race/ethnicity/cultural background than our family, we will seek out positive role models in the community who look like them and have similar backgrounds so they can feel a sense of community.

We are also aware of the emotional complexities of adoption. It is a beautiful and amazing thing, but it is also a major loss for our child and our child’s birth family. That is not lost on us. We have lost a child and are acutely aware of the pain of that. We want what is best for our child. We will do whatever is necessary to act in their best interests even if it is something that we do not prefer. We are more than happy to do an open adoption, if it is in our child’s best interest.