When Kevin and I first started with Everlasting Adoptions, we had already been involved with another company for one year with no results. So when we were matched with a birth mother in Florida we were beyond excited! However, ultimately when she gave birth she quit answering the phone and kept the baby.
After a couple months we decided we were ready to try again. The second birth mom seemed much more promising and stable, and we purchased everything we could need for a baby boy due in the winter … hats, coats, literally everything.
When she too changed her mind about placing the baby for adoption, honestly I thought my heart was unfixable. All I’d ever wanted since I was 5 years old was a baby of my own! I was beyond sad. I closed the door to the perfect nursery I had so carefully decorated, and even avoided walking through that side of my house as much as possible. The hurt it caused just took my breath away.
Then 2 weeks before Christmas I was at work when Jenna from Everlasting Adoptions called me with an “urgent” message. At this point my heart (previously thought to be unfixable) began to pound in my chest because Jenna’s voice was so excited. She told me about a baby boy born that morning 3 states away, whose mother had chosen our profile and was asking for us to come pick him up.
By this point my stomach was involved with the pounding of my heart in my chest as well. Have I mentioned I thought my head would explode?! After everything we had been through I didn’t know if I could try again, especially not in a state with a 7 day grace period for birth mom to change her mind. But God gives us the strength we need in times like these. I spoke to the birth mom over the phone and assured her that her son already had everything he needed, sitting in the nursery I must have been building for him all along. The relief in her voice at that moment was worth all the pain I’d held inside for the past 2 years. She asked what name I would like on the birth certificate, and all I could think of was Jeremiah 29:11…for I know the plans I have for you, saith The Lord..plans to give you a future and a hope.
From this point life became surreal.. I was sure that I would wake up at any moment to realize I had only been dreaming. The 10 days we spent with Jeremiah and his birth mom were unbelievable. I learned so much from her about being a mother, by her truly unselfish act.
Everything I thought I knew about life has been turned upside down, and I am so grateful for the experience! We were allowed to bring our new baby home on Christmas Eve, giving me the greatest Christmas gift I’ve ever hoped for!
This morning I feed Jeremiah breakfast and lay him back down in his crib for a nap, tucking the blanket around him with his arms out exactly how I know he likes it. And at this moment I realize, no one else knows Jeremiah like I do. We were meant to be. I wouldn’t trade this baby for anyone else. And I wouldn’t even trade the pain I’ve felt, because I may have had to miss the joy I’m feeling right now. Adoption is truly a miracle, and you’ll know what I mean when it happens to you.
May God bless you on your journey.
